


Our love contains multitudes (RinHaru Week 2020 one shots)

by RubyEliz



Category: Free!
Genre: Additional Tags to Come, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst with a Happy Ending, Established Relationship, First Kiss, Fluff, Getting Together, M/M, Mutual Pining, RinHaruWeek2020, long distance, oneshots
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-26
Packaged: 2021-03-10 16:53:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28270452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RubyEliz/pseuds/RubyEliz
Summary: A series of one shots using the RinHaru Week 2020 prompts (thank you moderators!) - ratings vary between chapters so I'm popping the whole lot under M just to be cautious, but will indicate individual ratings and add additional tags as I add more chapters. Each chapter will be standalone.-- Chapter one/Day one: Technology & Soulmates (Rating T/M - angst with a happy ending. 7.5k words)-- Chapter two / Day two: Long distance (Rating T - fluff. 1k words)-- Chapter three / Day three: Winter Christmas (Rating G - first kiss. 1k words)
Relationships: Matsuoka Rin/Nanase Haruka
Comments: 7
Kudos: 25
Collections: Rin & Haru Week





	1. The One

“Tachibana Makoto.”

Makoto stands, smiles nervously at their little group and then follows the gesturing clerk with the clipboard.

“I wonder who Makoto’s match will be?”

Nagisa beams, jittery with excitement and too much sugar; Rei has long since given up on trying to calm him down. They are only there for moral support - they won’t be old enough to get their test results until they too turn 21 next year - but Nagisa is still probably the most excited of all of them put together. Haru, Makoto and Rin who have all fallen into this years annual ‘matching’ each are far too lost to their thoughts at how their lives might change in the next moments to be able to muster much outward excitement.

Ever since the Venus medical partnered up with the government to mandate genetic partner matching for all citizens at 21 Haru particularly has veered from ambivalence, to dread to hope at this day. He’s had years to adjust to the concept that a person’s perfect partner - their so called soulmate - could be mapped in their DNA, and yet all at once his own turn to hit this milestone has come too soon.

The clinic they find themselves in looks nothing like the cheery and pink-filled state sponsored infomercials. Instead it is sterile and white and smells more of soap than of romance. The waiting room is thick with men and women their own age all from their prefecture - some with family and friends there to witness their big moment - but nobody else appears to have come with a partner. The leaflet Haru clutches in one hand features a happy smiling couple clasping hands and smiling together, ecstatic in their moment of meeting. His other hand grips Rin tighter.

“Don’t worry. It’ll be us. It has to be.”

Rin says it with practiced confidence. After all it’s not the first time they’ve talked about this. It’s no secret that relationships before the age of 21 - before a person’s DNA results are unsealed and they are formally matched - are frowned upon. They happen, sure - teenagers are teenagers after all - but its taken with the general acceptance that its driven by hormones and nothing more. The government won’t even recognise relationships until the age of 21, and even then it’s only for couples that have the proper partner documentation to match. Without that, marriage, homeownership, parenthood… even things as simple as booking a one bed hotel room - are off limits for any unmatched individuals. ‘ _For the stability and prosperity of the nation’_ was how it was explained to them in school, a way to ensure only those who were truly meant to be together took the steps to get there.

Haru and Rin have more than taken steps together.

Which is not to say they themselves hadn’t tried to follow the rules. Hadn’t attempted to deny how they felt. They had tried until they had torn themselves and each other ragged and the only peace was to be found in giving in and giving it a try. In being together.

That had been years ago now, and as first Haru’s and then Rin’s 21 first birthday approach and passed, over and over again they had found themselves having the same conversation - all the what if and maybes - but every time they could only come to the same conclusion: They have to be each other’s perfect match. Soulmates.

It has to be them.

—x—

Makoto isn’t gone for long. Barely 10 minutes later he’s back walking towards them with a large brown envelope in hand and looking a little sweaty but more relieved than anything else.

“That was fast.” Rin mutters under his breath. They all stand expectant.

“No match yet.” Makoto waves the packet at them. “They said I’ll likely be contacted in the next year or two. Guess that’s means my match is younger than me.”

“Maybe I’m your match.” Nagisa teases to break the tension.

Makoto laughs and Rei awkwardly pats his shoulder. “I’m sorry. You must be disappointed it didn’t happen today.”

But Makoto just shrugs him off smiling gently. “To be honest I’m fine with it. I’m not sure I’m ready to meet my soulmate yet and settle down. This way I have at least a year to go!”

Haru feels Rin grip his hand tighter.

“You must be up soon right?” Makoto turns to say to him softly, brown eyes soft with understanding. Haru hasn’t ever spoken to him about what this day means to him, but like with most things Makoto just knows.

Haru nods and continues to curl and uncurl the pamphlet in his free hand.

_It has to be them._

“Nanase Haruka”

The lady with the clipboard is back and Haru can’t help but tense up.

“Hey relax. It won’t be anything we don’t know, ok? I love you.”

Rin pulls him into a hug and Haru instinctively seeks his mouth for a soft kiss. “I love you.” He echoes and reluctantly pulls away and starts to follow the woman.

“Go get em!”

Haru turns to see Rin is grinning, but either Haru is imaging it or he doesn’t look quite so sure anymore.

**—x—**

Rin is right, it is fast. Barely 10 minutes later Haru is bursting out of the consultation room, ignoring the calls behind him and charging for Makoto.

“Where’s is he?”

Makoto stands up, eyebrows knitting, clearly hastily trying to read in Haru the news that still hasn’t quite sunk in.

“He was called in right after you. What’s wrong?”

“I need to see him. Now.”

“Haru?” Nagisa reaches for him, tries to soothe him but Haru can’t speak. Just keeps pacing and shaking his head, waiting. None of them fail to notice he isn’t carrying his own brown envelope of results.

The minutes pass like hours. It’s taking too long.

Almost half a hour goes by - Haru pacing and unreachable in his own thoughts - before finally Rin emerges, red-eyed and skin pale and blotchy, a nurse still half petting him on the back as she escorts him back to them.

Haru stops pacing, and their eyes meet and all at once the reality of it hits. He reaches for Makoto who steadies him by instinct more than anything.

“I made them rerun it. I made them do it again and it said the same.” Rin whispers, voice cracking and fresh tears starting to spill.

“What? What’s going on?” Nagisa asks, his face folding already in vicarious distress.

Rin only shakes his head, can’t speak. So Haru is the first to say the unthinkable, voice flat and watching helpless as the person he loves most in the world crumples before him. 

“It’s not us.”

* * *

The next days and weeks are strange and terrible and among the hardest Rin has ever lived. Even though Haru is still right there he feels like he is losing him in slow motion.

It’s not that he’s never considered before that this could be the outcome. Sometimes, in the dark quiet hours when he can’t sleep and Haru is curled into his side he thinks he can’t possibly be this lucky - to have Haru, Haru who he has loved since he was a child, as his life’s true mate. Thinks he’s not worthy. Thinks happy endings don’t happen like that in real life and that something is surely going to come and tear them apart.

But then he’d always told himself that those were just thoughts - his own darkness and insecurities coming to torment him in the early hours when he is weak and doubt feels stronger than the truth he knows, feels down to his bones in the daylight. Haru is his person. The missing part of himself. The gravity between them stronger than anything else Rin has ever known.

It was always going to be them.

Only now they each have a pack of papers that tells them he was wrong all along. That they were never meant to be together at all and somewhere out there is a person that can love Haru better than he can.

The grief hits him so hard the only time he can remember feeling quite so hopeless was right after his father had died.

And they don’t have the language to talk about it. The trip back home from the clinic is a blur. The days that follow grey and restless. Haru is so quiet its as if he’s vanished into himself, and Rin can’t muster his usual energy to reach him there. In fact they they barely talk at all - shared looks is all it takes to know they feel the same pain. 

Haru, unable to find any peace or any sense in this strange new reality, spends hours and hours in the bath until his skin is all gooseflesh watching over and over as the water streams through his fingers. No matter how tightly he cups his hand he cant keep it all in.

He doesn’t sleep. Not really. He lies still and pretends but every time he closes his eyes he cant help but torture himself by picturing who this person is that will take Rin away from him. Who he truly belongs with. The one person who can make him truly happy - happier even than Haru himself has managed.

It doesn’t seem possible.

He refuses to even touch his pack of papers from the clinic, but he finds himself fingering the edges of Rin’s when he knows Rin can’t see him. Trying to picture it written in black and white the name of this unknown other who now owns the rights to the life he wants. Will they be taller than him? Or perhaps cute and shorter like Nitori? He wonders what colour their hair is. Rin always said he loved Haru’s blue eyes - will their eyes be blue as well? Will they know more about the books Rin likes? Will they swim with him until he’s left panting over the lane lines? Will they know how to calm him down when the sea churns and the wind whips up and Rin’s eyes turn glassy with childhood fear?

He feels like he is going half mad with the sheer vastness of the possibilities.

Eventually he breaks.

“I think we should at least look. Just to know.”

Rin looks up from where he is hunched over his laptop and his expression immediately tightens. He’s been waiting for this.

“We don’t have to. It doesn’t have to change anything. Not if we don’t want it to. I’ve been researching and not everyone meets their match - sometimes they can’t if they are sick or in prison. Things like that. And some people don’t even have one.”

Haru wants to agree, but he can’t. A hard stone of guilt in his stomach that won’t go away no matter how much they try and rationalise it.

“Yes but you do. You do have a match, and you out of everyone was most excited when the test came out. You can’t tell me all of sudden you don’t care about your soulmate. I won’t believe you.”

Rin’s expression hardens. “I was a kid! And that was before…”

Before they came together. Before he learned it wasn’t Haru. Before the happy ending wasn’t quite the one he pictured.

“You’ve always wanted to know.” Haru replies flatly, gaze averted.

“Don’t use that against me now. You know this isn’t what I wanted.” Rin snaps, and he hates that they’re fighting about this. Hates that he can feel the tears about to start even though all he wants is to feel pure uncomplicated anger at the unfairness of it all.

Haru flinches and steps forward to wrap his arms around him from behind, pressing his forehead into his neck and breathing him in. His words are calm but blunt.

“I’m sorry, it should have been me. But it’s not.”

Rin screws his eyes closed. Wants to block it all out. Ignore it all.

“No dont- I’m sorry. I never should have pushed us. If we’d never….”

Haru’s arms tighten around him, he can feel his heart beat against him and it feels so much like home.

“Don’t. Don’t regret it.” He says quietly into Rin’s hair. “I’d still do it all again. Every minute. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

They stay like that for a long time until finally Haru shifts to sit next to him. Pulls out their two envelopes from where they have lain discarded for weeks. He holds his hand.

“We can do this Rin. Together.” ****

**—x—**

For all the romance of the adverts, the first time they look at the faces of their destined partners its not very romantic. They sit huddled together and type the codes the clinic gave them into the government portal. They flip a coin to see who will go first, and when Haru loses and at the the final moment can’t bear to look at a face that isn’t Rin’s, Rin takes the laptop and starts to read it out to him.

“It’s a woman.” He says flatly. “Riku. 21 like us. She lives on the coast near Shimoda and works in the local aquarium. She’s an only child. Lives alone and likes cooking and painting. She sounds... pretty perfect for you actually.”

Haru leans over and takes in the photo of the petite, unsmiling girl. And the gods must have a cruel sense of humour because she also has red hair, though it looks a shade or two darker than Rin’s and judging by her eyebrows it comes from a bottle.

An awkward silence falls between them.

“I never realised you liked girls too.” Rin finally says quietly, avoiding eye contact.

Haru exhales heavily. He feels nothing looking at this woman. No spark of interest, no sense of some great pre-destined fate.

“I don’t. I don’t want to be with a woman Rin. I want you.”

“She’s your soulmate Haru.” Rin protests, but his voice stutters and breaks on the word. He wishes he’d never heard of soulmates before.

Haru clicks off the page abruptly.

“Your turn.” He says with false calm, though his fingers shake as he types Rin’s code into the entry form. The screen buffers and loads and suddenly he is looking at a handsome man, broad shoulders and gently smiling face filling the screen.

“Al-ex” Haru wrinkles his nose at the strange name. “He’s foreign? Oh, no born in Tokyo and raised in London. He’s older… Almost 30. Lives in Osaka now. Speaks English and a few other languages. Travels a lot. He’s spent time in Sydney too.”

Haru’s expression grows tighter the more he reads. He is perfect for Rin. _Perfect._ And he’s been waiting for him for such a long time. Only...

Rin barely looks before he is shutting the laptop with a snap.

“That’s it then. Our soulmates.”

They look at each other, broken open.

Neither get much sleep that night. ****

* * *

It doesn’t get easier.

They try to pretend that nothing has changed. Try and push the truth away, but it eats at them. The names, the pictures. The knowledge that out there Riku and Alex are just waiting to be found. Have likely looked at equivalent profiles for Haru and Rin. Might be building futures with them in their minds even as they cling to each other like the last victims of a sinking ship. 

Even when they try and have sex, Haru can’t help but feel like he is stealing something that shouldn’t be his. Can’t help but picture this Alex in his place. If Rin’s own performance is anything to go by, he is equally distracted. More often than not they never really manage to get going anymore, and end up just holding each other quietly, pressed tight together and breathing each other in.

If it was just his own happiness on the line Haru thinks he could be selfish about it (and maybe a little cold - after all he just can’t bring himself to care at all that this Riku is out in the world thinking he is her match. He only wants Rin) but it is Rin’s happiness too. He can’t shake the worry that the longer he stays with Rin, the longer he is keeping him from his rightful future.

And he realises he was wrong to think it would be easier knowing than imagining all the myriad of possibilities, because now he has a name and a face he also has to face up to the fact that there is only one version of the truth. That this man - Alexs - is the man that Rin belongs with, not him. And he knows the longer they draw this out the more it will hurt, the more of him that will be destroyed by it.

Only this time, it’s Rin who breaks first.

“I think you should meet her.” He announces after yet another night where they lie in silence and pretend to sleep.

“I don’t want to.”

Haru’s response is easy. Automatic.

“I know, I know …. But I can’t stop thinking that she might be the best thing that ever happens to you and I’m… I’m keeping you from that. It’s selfish and… I’m going crazy thinking about all the things she can give you that I can’t. Haru she could have your _children._ I can’t give you that. I can’t even marry you now. We could never buy our own house, never really be together… not the way we wanted.”

Tears start to gather in the corners of his eyes - it’s like they’ve both been on the verge of them for days now - but Rin pushes them away and tilts his head determined.

“I think this is the right thing to do. You need to at least meet her.”

Haru wants to leap up and push this all away, wants to comfort Rin and reassure him. But isn’t it only what he himself has been thinking?

So instead he picks up where Rin has left off in pushing them one step further towards the inevitable.

“Ok. I’ll meet her. But only if you meet Alex.”

“Wha-"

Rin starts to protest but his own arguments silence him. He looks a bit sick at what he’s about to agree to but in the end he nods, tears finally slipping free.

“Ok. I’ll meet him.”

And Haru feels the strangest combination of relief and fresh heartbreak all at once.

* * *

They discuss it over and over. Tears and fights and long hours just holding each other but in the end they agree. They’ll meet their designated soulmates. They’ll give it a chance. They’ll commit to three months in close proximity. Just like they are supposed to, just like the pamphlet says to.

**_“The bonding phase. Most newly matched partners - around 85-90% - will experience an immediate and joyful sense of connection at the deepest spiritual level like never experienced before. In a very small number of cases this process may take a little longer, this is why we recommend newly connected soulmates commit to a period of close co-habitation in the first eight to twelve weeks. Data collected since the start of the Venus programme confirms thatat the end of three months the bonding process will be complete in all matched couples.”_ **

Rin reads this over and over and tries not to picture Haru’s ‘immediate and joyful connection’ with Riku. He thought he knew what love looks like on Haru. It terrifies him he might have no idea.

They tell each other over and over that no matter what happens, it won’t mean they didn’t love each other. Wont make them love each other any less. But it doesn’t stop it feeling like skin and muscle being torn from bone as they pack up their rented apartment and send emails and make arrangements for separate lives - Haru off to Shimoda to stay with Riku. Rin going to meet Alex at his Osaka condo.

By the time they part at the station the tears are all cried out and all they can do is grip each other, white knuckled, until Rin’s train arrives to take him away. 

Rin curls in on himself and keeps his eyes closed the whole way to Osaka. 

Haru almost doesn’t leave.

What he wants is to turn around and go back home - to their home, to their bed, and curl up under sheets that will still smell like Rin and never get out again.

But he’s promised Rin. And she’s expecting him, this woman who is supposed to be the other half of his heart ( _but how, when his heart is so broken?_ ) and so he dutifully gets his coach and watches dull eyed as green gives way to blue.

* * *

Alex is practically perfect.

He greets Rin at the station with a big bouquet of roses and whisks him to the fancier part of town in his subtly flashy sports car. Rin - having scrubbed his face to try and hide the tear tracks - does his best to sound cheery. To sound excited, but he knows it’s not working when Alex tells him he seems tired and shows him to a slick, dark bedroom to lie down. He’s kind at least, Rin thinks, and only realises later he felt nothing else about him at their first meeting. No rush of joy, no great recognition.

 _Not the 85% then._ He thinks, and its strange that its the first thing to comfort him since the whole ordeal began.

Their first night together Alex cooks him steak exactly the way Rin likes it (i _t’s my favourite, I hope you don’t mind? I wasn’t sure what you’d like_ ) and serves it with a delicious, very fancy bottle of red wine.

He also presents Rin with a set of engraved silver bracelets and it’s all so romantic and sweet and _just awful_ because it doesn’t feel like it should at all.

They both drink a bit too much, nervous and unsure of each other, and swap stories about their families, their travels and books and films and music, all of which they almost entirely agree upon. Rin forces himself not to mention Haru, but it still feels like a betrayal when Alex ends the evening with a swift kiss on the lips and a murmured promise that Rin can stay as long as he likes.

He’s the perfect host, the perfect gentleman. The perfect companion. He’s taller than Rin, and if he wanted to Rin could tuck himself against his chest with the perfect fit.

Instead Rin demurs, offers only a tight thanks for the meal and spends the night restless on the expensive sofa and trying desperately not to obsess over what Haru is doing right that moment.

—x—

Riku is placid and unreadable. She shows no outward emotion at all at meeting her supposed soulmate and instead unsmilingly shows Haru around her home. It’s compact and neat with very few visible personal belongings. It’s right on the beach though, and Haru can smell the sea in every room.

She shows him to a small spare bedroom he can use with bedding already laid out on the floor “until the bond forms and we start having sex” she says, tone as utterly flat emotionless as when she showed him where she keeps the pans in the kitchen. Haru can’t imagine that ever happening but nods politely anyway. He promised he’d try, didn’t he?

The next days are surprisingly unremarkable for all the upheaval they represent.

Riku mostly leaves him to his own devices. She herself sleeps in until 11 or 12 most days before heading to her shift at the aquarium, and so Haru spends the mornings jogging along the beach and sketching and trying to keep himself busy and his mind occupied. They don’t speak much, though when they do she is polite and seems thankfully as disinterested in small talk as he himself is. She does take him to see her aquarium one afternoon which sparks their longest conversation yet, and Haru leaves with a pass that will let him see the exhibits as many times as he wants. His first instinct is to call Rin up and tell him all about it, but they had agreed to give each other space. To not draw out the pain. Instead Haru draws his favourite fish and tucks the pictures away somewhere private.

 _I’ll show him at home._ He tells himself, ignoring the voice that tells him home doesn’t exist for them anymore. Can’t exist.

He draws Rin next, and guiltily hides that one under his pillow. 

* * *

The weeks pass, and the more Rin gets to know Alex the more he realises the perfection is a carefully crafted facade. His life is one of control - every element relentlessly shaped to fit his will and all designed to hide the insecurity that sits beneath. He is never less than welcoming to Rin - generous to a fault - but he is fickle in his moods and when he gets upset Rin can never fully understand what sets him off.

When they run, he snaps at Rin if he doesn’t quite make pace. Then apologises with egg white omelettes and single origin coffee. He spends a lot of his day shouting down the phone at the people he works with, only to then work late into the evening alone to make sure the team’s projects run perfectly. He introduces Rin to his friends - a nice group that all seem to love Alex - but after one too many beers they confide in Rin that they worry about him sometimes. That they wonder if Rin will be the one to ‘fix’ him.

Alex never overtly pushes him, but equally Rin is never left unaware that he’s failing to live up to the perfect promise of a soulmate. “After 8 years I’d come to terms with it not happening. This is all strange to me too.” He tells Rin a little pointedly one day when Rin tries to explain why he finds it hard to return his touches. Alex is tactile by nature and is visibly hurt at each little rebuff.

“How are we supposed to bond if you don’t even try.” He grumbles one night, and Rin doesn’t really have a good answer to that and so the next he forces himself to drink almost an entire bottle of Alex’s fancy wine until he feels just numb and reckless enough to consider trying the physical side of things.

But even then the kisses feel like acting. Even then, they barely make it to the bed, barely skin touching skin until he is shaking and crying and he’s _sorry he just can’t. He can’t._ Because it’s not right and it’s not Haru and surely this can’t be what true love feels like?

Alex wavers between understanding and frustration and upset and back to understanding.

“We’ll take is slow.” He soothes, but even in the days that follow Rin can’t help but feel he’s bracing himself through every kiss, every touch.

As they hit almost two whole months together and still no sign of any sort of bond falling into place they start to fight more. Little bickers that, with Alex’s own capacity for a temper clashing more and more with Rin’s own, start to seep into bigger arguments. Rin still sleeps on the sofa, and every night he clutches his pillow to his chest and thinks about just getting up and leaving. Knows that the pillow itself is irrelevant now anyway. It’s Haru he can’t sleep without.

—x—

Haru and Riku by contrast rub along seamlessly. They can spend hours together in total silence without it being a problem. They cook fish every day without comment and she doesn’t disturb him when he tries to read and lets him stay in the bathroom as long as he wants. She asks nothing of him, and he finds nothing in her to want more of - he doesn’t care to know about her life, her hobbies, her dreams. He doesn’t dislike her … she is fine. Unbothersome. But that’s about the highest praise Haru can reach for.

It’s a quiet and untroubled way to pass the time. Almost a life he might have pictured for himself once upon a time. The life he might have lived had Rin not shown him there was so much more.

Each night, after Riku has gone to bed and he himself still can’t sleep he walks down to the beach and remembers how at 13 he would stand on the shore at Iwatobi and tell himself that even all the way in Sydney Rin was looking at the same stars. Swimming in the same sea.

He tells himself the same now, and just like before the knowledge offers little comfort.

One morning, almost two months into his stay Riku comes down to breakfast and blinks at him over the table.

“I don’t think its working. I think we should try and kiss now.”

Haru can’t think of a real reason to object, and so sits still and lets her place her lips over his own. They cool and unmoving as marble, and after she pulls away and wrinkles her nose

“Let’s not do that again.”

Haru agrees all too readily. He’s never kissed anyone but Rin; has never wanted to. Rin is the only person who has ever made him want those things.

He lies in his bed and plays back over their time together - sometimes it’s sweet, small remembrances of kisses and stupid challenges and mornings spent together in cosy contentment.Sometimes though its memories that heat his skin, and he has to muffle his cries as he takes himself in hand and remembers all the times he has fallen apart under Rin’s touch.

Those times are the hardest, as after the rush of desire is the creeping comedown that turn his thoughts dark. He wonders if Alex has learned by now what Rin likes. The way a kiss to his inner thigh makes him squirm just so. The way his pale skin flushes all across his chest when he is close. The way his usually tense form turns loose and pliable afterwards. The way he likes to be held as their skin cools.

He wonders just how much longer he can stand this. Can’t bear the thought it might have to be the rest of his life.

* * *

It’s almost 12 weeks, and still no sign of any feelings of bonding. Haru sits in a patch of sunlight and flips his mobile over and over in his hands. They promised they wouldn’t… and yet if he’s still not found his so-called-bond, maybe there’s a chance its the same for Rin too. He’s afraid to dare let himself hope. Feels guilty at the part of him that selfishly hopes Rin’s doesn’t love his own soulmate.

When the screen lights up with Rin’s name he almost drops it in surprise, half sure he’s hallucinating it through sheer force of will. But no, it keeps ringing. He presses to answer the call, barely daring to believe it.

“Rin??”

There’s a pause, near-silence broken only by a shaky inhale. “I’m sorry. I know I shouldn’t but…”

He’s clearly been crying, and Haru’s heart squeezes in pain at the thought of not being there.

“No, no I’m glad you called. Are you ok?”

Rin hics a sob. “I’m sorry. I know this isn’t fair I just… I needed to hear your voice.”

There’s a strange tinny echoes to his words, and Haru feels an instinctive sense of alarm.

“Where are you? You sound strange?”

“I’m in the bathroom. We er... we had a fight.”

Haru’s fingers dig into the tatami. “A fi—has he hurt you?” His blood boils at the mere thought of such a thing.

“No no... it’s not like that. He ... he wants to take me to London. Thinks we’ll have a better chance there. A fresh start.”

Haru feels a bolt of pure white hot panic.

“London... England? He wants you to go to England???”

Rin’s only reply is another half-smothered hic of crying. Haru’s mind blanks of everything else but the need to see him. Immediately. Sooner if he could make it happen.

“I’m coming to Osaka.”

The words are out before he can think it through. 

“Wha-”

“I know we said we wouldn’t and ... I know you’re trying with Alex like you should be but please. Don’t go to England yet. Meet me. It can be as friends. I’ll come to Osaka I just...” He cant hold it in any longer “I miss you.”

He hears Rin suck in a wobbly breath.

“Yes. Of course yes. I miss you too Haru. So much.”

* * *

They meet at an unassuming little noodle bar far from the busier city centre.

Rin’s stomach won’t settle the whole day. He doesn’t know why he’s so nervous, but meeting Haru feels illicit somehow now. When he gives the name of the booking at the door, he half expects to be asked to show his match status but of course they don’t. Its only dinner, even if it doesn’t feel that way.

He spots Haru right away. Haru’s eyes widen the moment their gazes meet and in just that micro-expression Rin knows his feelings mirror Rin’s own. Haru stands, looks tense and unsure about where to put his arms, unsure if they are going to hug or not, but Rin has already utterly forgotten about their white lies about it being ‘just friends’ and launches himself at him, burying his face into his neck. All at once he is enveloped in Haru’s arms, his smell, his achingly familiar presence.

There are no words. They hold each other so long and so tightly it takes a rather pointed cough from the waitress to pull them back to their senses. Even when they take their seats - a booth that thankfully offers a modicum of privacy - they cant stop touching; Haru smoothing Rin’s hair and Rin gripping onto Haru’s wrist as if he needs to check he is still real.

When the waitress won’t keep from interrupting them Haru orders quickly and bluntly for them both, large bowls of ramen that sit mostly untouched and a large jug of sake.

It turns out they need it. At first the dinner is awkward and stilted, both saying more with looks and touches than actual worlds. Swallowing down their questions in sips of the rice wine.

It takes until Haru is pink in the cheeks and slightly thick of tongue to have the nerve to ask.

“Tell me about London?”

“I don’t want to go.” Rin replies quickly.

“So you haven’t... felt it with him yet?” The question Haru really wants to ask.

Rin shakes his head. “You?”

“No.”

The relief Rin feels at that is almost too much. He has to look away.

-x-

After dinner, they walk aimlessly round the dark streets. They don’t hold hands, but press so close their forms melt into one. Eventually though the night starts to get cold, and Haru stops, turns to Rin.

“Rin I think….”He starts, but Rin grabs for his wrist.

“Wait. Don’t-dont say you have to go. Please. I just... stay a little longer.”

“I can’t-”

Rin’s face starts to crumple, but Haru shakes his head, words failing him. He surges for Rin.

The kiss is wild and messy and almost violent in its passion - a crash of lips and teeth and tongue - but in it there is such peace, such rightness. It feels like home. Rin clutches at him and holds him tight and by the time they pull away - just enough to rest their foreheads together, still pressed as close as their clothing will allow - they are both panting.

“I can’t do this anymore.” Haru finishes finally.

“Me either.”

“I don’t care what the test says. I don’t want her.”

Rin chokes out something between a laugh and a sob. “ And I want you. I’ve always wanted you.”

Haru feels a lightness as some of the tension and pain and hurt of the last weeks falls away.

“Then let’s just go home.” He murmurs against Rin’s skin. “Our home. Let’s forget the test and just... be together.”

Rin lists towards him, only to pull away looking stricken.

“But they’ll never let us. Not properly. We can’t marry. We won’t be able to buy a house or have kids or...”

Haru cuts him off with another bruising kiss.

“I don’t care. I just want you. We’ll figure something out. I promise. Just come home with me.” 

Rin folds into him, his answer lost in kisses that taste of tears.

—x—

It’s too late to make it back to Iwatobi that night and so they find the nearest hotel that won’t check their match status - its cheap and airless but none of it matters because they don’t even make it to the bed before they are fucking, hard and fast and desperate against the wall. Just needing to feel it - the connection, skin on skin, finally together and finally whole again.

Afterwards, they take their time. Lying on the bed lit only by the florescent lights outside. With the edge taken off their desperation it is slower and more intense. They kiss each other everywhere. Long hours spent in just holding each other until the next wave of their desire swells.

By morning they are shattered but whole and they are sure.

Haru phones Riku. She is unsurprised and remarkably unemotional about the whole thing. They agree to get dinner if they are ever in the same place, it suits them really.

Haru wants to go with Rin to tell Alex but Rin insists its something he needs to do alone. This takes longer, but even with all the tears and drama Alex seems to understand its inevitable.

He leaves for London as planned, alone.

* * *

It is months later when, lying in bed one quiet night, Rin mentions it.

“I’ve been looking into it. The test.”

Haru can’t help but tense up beside him. He grips to Rin tighter, arms round his waist and face pressed against his heart.

“Why. What more can it tell us?”

“Not the test itself.” Rin amends. “But help for couples like us. There’s these forums. And a woman… she worked on the original Venus programme and apparently she can help.”

This causes Haru to prop himself on his arms against Rin’s chest and look down at him with barely repressed anger.

“Why would we want anything to do with her? That programme almost ruined our lives!”

“Hey hey.” Rin runs soothing hands down his back, digging lightly into the now-knotted muscle there. “She left Venus before it became government mandate. Now she helps couples like us who weren’t matched but think that they…”

Rin trails off and even after all this time he still looks so sad.

“Should be.” Haru finishes for him, and anger softening into something more like concern he leans forward and kisses Rin gently. “Of course we should be. But what can she do about it?”

“She says for the right couples, she’s willing to change the results. Get them the right documents. That she can still do that.”

“The right couples.” Haru scoffs. “And how much does it cost to be ‘right’”

“Nothing. Apparently she won’t charge. She just needs to meet us. Just needs to make sure we’re legit I suppose.”

Haru mulls this over. He wants to tell Rin no, that he doesn’t want to invite anyone else - man or machine - the chance to pass judgement on how he feels. What he knows to be true. But when he looks into Rin’s eyes he see’s the spark of hope there for all the things they can’t currently have - marriage, security, true partnership in the eyes of the law. And he relents. 

“I don’t care what any test says about it. You belong with me and I belong with you. But if she says she can help us and you want to try…. Then I’ll go with you.”

Rin leans up to kiss him in kind and smiles softly. “. It won’t change what I feel, but I want to try. I want the world to know - you’re mine and I’m yours. Always.”

“I’m yours and you’re mine.” Haru agrees, kissing fresh marks into Rin’s skin for all the world to see.

—x—

It turns out they are not the only couple in Japan that feel strongly about their result being wrong, and the wait list to see Dr Otsuka takes several more months to tick round to their turn. Even then the whole process is complicated and shrouded in secrecy with the need to protect Dr Otsuka’s operation from being shut down. 

When their time finally comes, they travel to Tokyo and are buzzed into a small, unassuming flat way on the outskirts of the city to be greeted by a diminutive and rather old looking woman.

Rin is all warmth and smiles, but Haru can’t help but glare, finally with an object to take his anger out on (even if she is barely 5ft on tiptoes).

She shows them into a cosy little office and offers them drinks and snacks which they both refuse, far too on edge, and when she opens up the conversation with a gentle, “So tell me a little about yourselves nd why you want to be matched together?” Haru can’t hold himself back.

“Or you could tell us why should we trust you. You’re the reason the test even exists.” He snaps.

Rin chokes, mortified and starts to apologise but the woman just laughs, face coming alive in a thousand creases.

“No, No he has a point.” And her expression turns sombre. “I started the research when I was still a graduate student and obsessed with love. I thought if I could find a way to connect everyone to their perfect mate nobody would ever be lonely again. But I was young and put too much faith in science. I didn’t ever predict it turning into what it is now. That’s why I left Venus, and why I want to do what I can to make it right.”

“So what do you need to know from us? To make it right?” Rin asks eager, hand closing around Haru’s to mask his nerves.

Dr Otsuka smiles again. “Well first, did you meet your chosen matches? Do they know you intend to go against the results.”

Haru and Rin both nod.

“And they agree?”

“Mine didn’t care.” Haru says bluntly.

“Mine isn’t in the country anymore” Rin adds looking a little more sheepish.

“And how long have you been a couple?”

“Almost five years.” Rin’s expression softens instantly, looking at Haru with so much love Haru feels it catch his breath in his throat. They gaze at each other, and Dr Otsuka clears her throat softly.

“Do you have any idea where the idea of soulmates came from?”

They shake their heads.

“Its said that in the first version of the world humans had four arms and four legs and two faces, and these humans were so joyous that it filled the gods with envy and so they tore them apart into the forms we still carry today. And that through all this time we’re all still searching for our second self - the other half of our hearts, minds, bodies and souls. The story goes that when you find your second self you know it - not just in your body and your heart and in your mind, but in your very soul.”

“Its a nice story, but how does that help us?” Haru asks bluntly.

“Dont you understand? We’re not just talking about the things we can read in your DNA - we’re talking about your _soul._ I have nothing against technology, on the contrary I created the very algorithm that can find your perfect genetic partner. But with age comes wisdom that can’t be found in books and I have seen and spoken to enough couples to know genetic compatibility can tell us a lot but it can only tell us about this life. This physical being - bodies and minds and even hearts maybe. But that’s a very different thing to our _souls._ The parts of ourselves that will live on and on long after this life, this body, is done. _”_

She fixes Haru with an intense stare.

“The test reads just one dimension of something we have no means to measure. I didn’t appreciate that then, but I know it now. So the real question, the real thing I need to know to fix your status is do _you_ know. When you look deep inside, can you tell me, after all this time - generations and generations and all the lives your spirit has lived but your can’t even remember, is he the one you have been searching for?”

Rin and Haru turn to gaze at each other again, eyes bright and clear and certain. Haru starts to smile.

“I know. It’s him- it’s you Rin. It’s always been you.”

“My soulma-” Rin starts to whisper.

He is cut off by a kiss.

And they get their paperwork that very day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have been having the absolute worst writers block (hence still no update on AP - I swear its coming and I’ve not discontinued - thank you for all the continues support on this fic) and so with the RinHaru week prompts (thank you to the moderators for this!) I thought it would be a good chance to try and challenge myself to write a quick little something for every day of RinHaru week. I thought maybe 500-1000 words a day would be a good target which has clearly gone totally to plan considering day 1 turned into this ~7.5k of word vomit :S
> 
> We’ll see how many days I actually manage, but I hope to at least fill a few more prompts though I can’t guarantee the length (or quality :S) - but it is nice to be writing again! and I'm hoping after this to finally get those last two AP chapters up!
> 
> For day one, I am using the technology and Soulmates AU prompts, and this is a rather hasty execution of something I’ve been wanting to explore more - I have a soft spot for soulmate AUs, but have never been able to write them. I'm also just really interested in the idea of the tension between having a pre-determined soulmate and actively choosing to be together / making their own fate etc. I haven’t fully worked out how I’d want that to look, so this is a first go and something I might try and explore more/ rework at a later point. Love to hear any thoughts!


	2. Five thousand miles

“God I miss you so much. I wish you were he- he- he- he-.”

Rin’s voice goes suddenly from soft and breathy to stilted and robotic forcing Haru to pause his motions, chest already heaving, and instead lean forward frowning slightly.

“Rin? Rin you’re breaking up.”

The screen in front of him flickers.

The image of Rin jerks forward tapping on the camera at his end, and Haru’s screen flickers some more before freezing completely and treating him to a static view of Rin’s bare abs. They are very nice abs of course, but Haru kind of needs to see his face, to hear his voice for this to really work.

Frustrated, he wipes his hands off on his warm ups and pulls them back up his hips before snapping the laptop in frustration.

His phone pings with a standard apologetic text from Rin for the connection cutting out on them yet again. Haru wants to tell him it’s fine but it’s not really, not when he misses him this badly, and so he ignores it for the time being, hands curled into fists and feeling all pent up with no release and utterly utterly fed up with Rin being so far away.

He just needs to see him. Even just for a little while, to make the itch in his skin go away. To reassure himself that everything between them is as it was before Rin left. If only…

He pauses in his sulking, inspiration striking, then after a few more beats he opens his laptop back up with fresh determination and opens a new search tab.

* * *

It’s a few days later and Rin is just back from his morning jog when his phone pings with a message from Haru.

_“Can you send me a picture of the fountain?”_

Rin blinks at it for a few moments, unclear what he means or if this is some strange new attempt to keep the spark of their relationship going over the distance between them - he certainly wouldn’t put it past Haru to count fountain chat as some kind of foreplay.

 _“Fountain?”_ He texts back.

 _“The fountain in Hyde park.”_ Haru’s reply clarifies, while also continuing to make no sense at all.

But Rin dutifully flicks back through his camera roll and finds one of himself and Haru at the Archibald fountain, awkwardly leaning together back in the days when touches were still dangerous incase they gave too much away.

It doesn’t go down well. The grey dots barely flash before Haru’s reply chimes in.

_“No. Not an old one. One of you. Today. Now.”_

_“???”_

Now Rin really is lost.

_“Now Rin. It’s important.”_

_“Haru my flat is miles away from that park. What’s so urgent about a stupid picture??”_

This time the dots flash and fade and flash and fade and Rin worries he’s been a bit too blunt. Maybe Haru really was just trying something new?

When the next message finally does ping onto the screen it’s a picture accompanied by just four words.

_“Now will you come?”_

There on his screen is a picture of Haru’s unsmiling face in Hyde park, the fountain at his back. Rin’s thoughts grind to a halt and then start up again racing at ten times the speed. It’s not an old picture. The light shows still weak morning sun and the last time he and Haru were at that fountain it was the middle of the day. And Haru is wearing a shirt Rin knows he’s only had a few weeks. _But then that would mean. He can’t possibly?_

Rin almost drops his phone in his haste to tap out.

_“On my way.”_

* * *

Haru spots him at a distance, red hair slipped almost entirely loose from its tie and whipping about his face as he runs right for him. He has just about enough presence of mind to brace one foot against the fountain wall before Rin is throwing himself into his arms and Haru’s newly strengthened core is the only thing keeping them from toppling right over into the water.

The impact knocks half his breath out, and then Rin is kissing him and stealing the other half away entirely. He’s a little sweaty, and Haru realises he really must have run the whole way and finds he doesn’t care at all. Just presses him tighter into him and revelling in the sheer relief of having him in his arms and not behind a pixilated screen.

Eventually they pull apart, breathless and giddy.

“I… you… How??? You’re here? How are you here?” Rin’s grin is blinding, and Haru feels his own lips tick up in answering joy.

“I wanted to see you.” He says simply, and watches as Rin’s expression melts.

“Haru! That’s the most romantic-”

And Haru has to act quickly to kiss him again before the inevitable tears start up. It’s sometimes hard work having such a mushball for a boyfriend, he thinks to himself fondly. But then, as Rin grips him close and does that clever thing with his tongue, Haru has to admit it’s work he is more than willing to do…

When they part again Rin is calmer, but still visibly glowing with happiness.

“I can’t believe you’re really here. How long can you stay?”

Haru kisses him again, just because he can, before answering.

“Just the weekend. I need to be back at practice on Monday.”

“And you flew all this way just for a weekend? Then we can’t waste any of it! What do you want to do? Anything you want to see? We could hit the beach? Or there’s this great breakfast spot?-”

But before Rin can get too carried away in his own enthusiasm Haru just tugs him closer. “There is one thing I really want to do.”

“Anything.”

Haru’s eyes glitter and he presses close enough to whisper it in Rin’s ear before pulling back to watch the gratifying way his flush from running blends into a deep crimson blush. 

“Pervert.” Rin mumbles hiding his face in Haru’s shoulder.

But it doesn’t take long for him to rally, tugging at Haru’s hand to lead him back the way he’s just come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My original idea had been something totally different and angsty involving Toraichi to fit in with the 'family theme'. But then I ran out of time and got caught on the long distance ideas and this happened instead - basically Haru being thirsty and flying 5,000 miles for a Rin fix.


	3. Mistletoe Kisses

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Winter Christmas

“Rin can you hurry up and just tell me what we’re looking for? I’m getting cold!”

“Just a minute!” Rin tries to hide the alarm from his voice. _It should be here._

He scans all the branches and even the surrounding ground just incase it has fallen but… _nothing._ Just like at all the other spots.

It’s like some great cosmic joke. Someone is clearly out to get him. After all he has planned this night so carefully.

Plucking up the courage to ask Haru to be his Christmas Eve date had been no small thing, so when - to his utter surprise and delight - Haru had readily agreed he hadn’t been about to leave the success of the date to chance.Iwatobi was holdings its annual Christmas festival, a week long event filled with games and stalls and holiday themed decorations and Rin had made sure to visit the day before, mapping out all eight spots in town that had been adorned with sprigs of mistletoe, carefully ranking each location by most romantic (the viewpoint overlooking the harbour) to least romantic (the sprig tied up at the trees not far from the entrance) so he could plan his route accordingly. That way if when they arrived at a given opportunity for a Christmas kiss it was to find it busy with another couple he could always smoothly steer Haru on to the next spot rather than waiting so that when he did finally get to kiss him it would feel spontaneous and natural and not at all like Rin has been planning it with military precision for weeks.

It was fool proof.

Only, as they had visited each spot in turn not only had there been no smooching couples, but there had been no mistletoe. Not in any of the places Rin had mapped out and nowhere else either. Not a single sprig in sight in the whole festival. 

The first time he thought it might just have been a fluke, the second, bad luck. But by the time they reached the eighth and truly bottom-of-the barrel site for a potential first kiss Rin knew it was more than that. It was the universe punishing him for something he did in a past life. Or maybe for letting Nitori cheat off him last week.

All he wanted was the perfect first date and the perfect first kiss - was that really so much to ask?

And now not only has he not delivered Haru the most romantic first kiss in the history of all first kisses, but he hasn’t even managed to deliver on a half normal date. Instead he's spent half the evening dragging Haru back and forth around the festival with increasing levels of panic so that instead of being half way toward being in love with him too, Haru doesn’t even look like he’s having any fun, cheeks pink with the cold and hands shoved in his pockets looking throughly fed up.

_“Rin?”_

Rin is forced to give up the search. He turns back to Haru bashfully fiddling with the collar on his jacket.

“Sorry. I thought I saw something again but it was nothing after all. Again. Funny right?”

Haru stares at him blankly and Rin finds himself willing the ground to just open up already and swallow him.

“So what now?” He tries to play it casual. “Want to go check out any other stalls? Get some food?”

Haru buries his nose further into his scarf and shakes his head.

“Lets just go. Walk me home?”

“Oh. Sure. Ok.”

Rin is crushed, but valiantly tries to hide it.

The walk back is a quiet one, Rin lost to his own misery at ruining any chance of a real relationship with Haru before he’s even started, and Haru… well Haru is probably just trying to work out how to swim in the snow or something.

When they get to Haru’s front door Rin just about manages to muster a watery smile and a “Merry Christmas Haru,” mind already half drowning his sorrows in romcoms and diet soda so that it takes him a moment to realise Haru isn’t moving. Is just standing on his doorstep looking expectantly at Rin.

Rin wobbles a little on the balls of his feet.

“Um… arn’t you going inside? Or do you want me to leave first?”

This earns him a frustrated sounding huff and a roll of the eyes.

“No. Look up.” Haru is clearly feeling annoyed at having to point out the obvious, and Rin can’t work out why until he looks up and sees the biggest bundle of green with pearly white berries he’s ever seen haphazardly taped to the roof of Haru’s porch. Exactly eight sprigs of mistletoe, if Rin wasn’t too surprised to count.

“What the hell _is_ that!?”

“It’s mistletoe Rin.” Haru replies in that same half-exasperated tone. 

“But wh-whats it all doing here?”

“I asked Nagisa to help me find some.”

“But….why?”

Haru shrugs. “Knew you’d need the excuse.”

He’s clearly trying to look nonchalant, but the lightest blush starts to creep across his cheeks, giving him away and Rin feels like he just swallowed his own tongue because surely he doesn’t mean what Rin thinks he means?

“The excuse to wha-” he starts to ask dumbly, but is promptly silenced by Haru’s lips landing right against his own.

Its cold - they both are - and so fleeting that its over before Rin’s brain has caught up to his mouth.

“Merry Christmas Rin.”Haru whispers, the ghost of a smile on his lips before he promptly turns on his heels and darts inside.

Rin stays stood frozen on the porch, under the monster mistletoe. He is dumfounded. And then outraged.

“Wait! You can’t just… Wait! I wasn’t ready!”

He tries the door only to find for once in his life, Haru has cared enough about personal security to lock it and so resorts to jabbing the bell and wailing.

“Come on Haru! No fair. You surprised me.”

It takes a few more minutes of knocking and veering between pleading and threats before the door finally opens, Haru’s eyes glittering mischievously.

‘Ok then.”

“Ok then what?”

“Are you coming in or not?”

Haru’s eyes flick meaningfully back up to the mistletoe.

Rin doesn’t need asking twice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy holidays all (or as happy as they can be given current circumstances) x


End file.
